well, friday morning d and i went to the pet store and came home with a little grey and white ball of fur. and fire and hell and brimstone. he is as adorable as can be, but he is wild! all two pounds of him. he runs like a lunatic around the room, climbing everything, attacking everything, and meowing as he goes. he does that wonderful kitten jump attack on his toys, on my toes, on the phone cord. he keeps knocking down my tori amos poster and attacking it. but then he gets tired and climbs on me and looks with those beautiful greyblue eyes and meows and purrs so loud. and finally he settles down and goes to sleep. and then the process begins again.

i was such a proud mommy when he used his litterpan for business the first time instead of just for play. and he is eating and drinking normally. i have to take him to the vet in the next couple of days.

i do love him, but kittenhood is getting old really fast. i am covered with scratches from tiny needlesharp claws. he feels the need to climb me constantly. he knocks everything over. he keeps stepping on the computer keyboard. and this afternoon he tried to steal the ham out of my sandwich when he thought i was not paying attention. but i was. so there. neener neener.

i have never had a cat that talked this much. he sits on my lap purring so hard and he looks up at me and meows, so i answer him, and he meows again. and again. just talking to me. he's such a happy boy. such a joy. such a pest. he comes when i call him already. well, sometimes....

i sent my mother pictures right after i got him, and she wrote back that she hoped my pictures got better because really he wasn't that cute. i was heartbroken. absolutely heart-broken. my kitten is freaking adorable. she was just being a bitch. she has to ruin everything good for me, anything happy for me. but p wrote me the nicest sweetest note adoring my kitty and snorting at my mother, for which i am very thankful. she warmed my heart.

this kitten is very important. he gives me joy. he is a friend already. he is touch and he is warmth and he is someone ultimately trustworthy to talk to. (and he even talks back). he is just a baby, but already i can feel the bond between us that will only grow stronger from here, and i can feel that he is going to understand me. he sleeps in my bed, curled up next to me, and he is so comforting.

these have been very hard weeks. chaotic and scary and confusing. he is helping to ground me. when i am flying off out of control, the feel of soft kitten fuzz under my hands and the rumble of purr on my stomach helps tether me.

i am very lucky to have him.

"and kittens all wrapped in cement"
tori amos

snacks: ham and cheese sandwich with cool ranch doritos
noise: tori amos, to venus and back
paper: push, sapphire (okay so i haven't actually started it yet, but i keep meaning to)

terribly adorable pictures of the new baby

(and thanks to skorch for the cool background)