i keep remembering things i forgot. my printer. half my clothes. i can go back at some point and get them. i left a bunch of my school stuff there as well. i can get that all when my family goes to hawaii in june. my mother still wants me to come home and take care of the animals, but i can't take off two weeks of my life. i'm supposed to get a job. i am going to get a kitty. if i go cat-sit for her i will have to get my own cat-sitter.

i called my mother after i got back here. she was completely difficult. now that i have moved out they are completely washing their hands of me financially. they're not going to help me with anything. and yet i am still supposed to schedule weekly phone calls. that doesn't make any sense. i am trying to be mature about this whole thing. i gave them my phone number and my address, i gave them advance notice. my mother is being a whiny manipulative brat.

i feel abandoned and at the same time i want a divorce from them. i don't want anything to do with them. and i feel so guilty for that. i want a family more than anything else in the world. but i can't deal with them. at all.

it is not fair of them to put me through this. after everything else. it's just not fair.

(i know i know, who ever said life was fair?)